Class of 1998

Hard to believe, but it’s been almost twenty years since I graduated from high school. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was preparing for my last few months of high school. I would get to spend my last few months doing a senior project. Mrs C., my English teacher was my advisor for the project. I worked with a pre-school. Who would have thought? Me working with kids? I definitely was a different person back than. I wondered what changed to where I like four legged children the best for kids.

At the same time as I was preparing for my soon graduation, I thought I couldn’t wait to see friends again. They would meet my husband and children.  I would show them pictures of the children. Mind you, this was before cell phones. So, my idea at the time would be to carry pictures in my wallet. 

Twenty years ago if you asked me if I would go to my reunion. I would comment, “duh..of course.”  If you asked me now? I would bite my lip and ponder. Maybe say, “I don’t know. Maybe?” Where in the past twenty years did I change my mind? I’m betting the last five years.

When it had been time for my ten year. I didn’t even know about it. Nothing as for as I knew had been planned. I found out from former classmates we did have one. I believe it was at a bar. I heard not many people went. I would have loved to see around 800 people in a bar.

Five years later, people tried to get everyone together and do a fifteen year reunion. We went to a local restaurant. Again around 800 in my class. Maybe under 100 showed up? I worked at the time with a former classmate. She didn’t even hear about it. I think word only had gotten around thanks to Facebook. I did enjoy seeing old friends. I reconnected with them. There were a couple there I avoided at the same time. As I talked with my former classmates, I wondered what might be going through their head. Was I married? Any kids? What’s wrong with her? It was bad enough I was nowhere near where I thought I would be. Not even close. If my eighteen year old self saw me. She would have shaken her head.

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Thanks again to Facebook, I added classmates to my Facebook. Five years later, there are some I have unfriended or they had unfriended me. We either lost interest or I realized who they truly were. Which brought up other questions like, why was I even friends with them? If I go to the reunion, will they question why I unfriended them? I do still have friends on Facebook, of course. Those are friends I would want to see at the reunion. Okay, no. There are a couple I haven’t unfriended yet, but I’m getting close to. I’m sure they wouldn’t even notice I unfriended them. For those I want to see again? I don’t need a 20 year reunion. I could just message them to hang out.

I lost touch with a lot of people and feel like the reunion would be awkward. I haven’t even seen anything listed about it. If there is no reunion, I probably would be okay. If the reunion takes place and I miss out on it? Would I regret not going? If I regret, there is always the 30th reunion. Right?

So, do I go? What did you do or plan on doing?

Time Travel. Yes, please? 

If you ever had the chance. Would you turn back time? Would you change something in your life? What about altering the past? Would you be okay with the consequences? Those questions have been invading my mind lately. Once a day or every few days depending on what’s going on. I am always thinking…what if.                         

What if I could go back in time and change something. What do I change? If we had the ability to change our past. Would it change our future or would it somehow not change the future? Yes, I have thought about that. I always feel like I have that kind of luck. No matter what I do, I feel like I would still be walking the path I am now.

When would I go back in time? I can never decide. If it’s something that maybe happened five years ago. I could go back maybe five years and a month. But, there is a chance I might need to go back further. Every turn we make. Every decision we make? That’s a road we walk down. Imagine, as you have to decide what to do. There is a road sign. One leads to an uncertain future. The other? Same thing, an uncertain future. No one knows what tomorrow brings. You might think. I’ll go down this path. I know I’ll be safer going this way. But, maybe you shouldn’t have done that. Maybe, you should have gone down the path with the dark woods. Why, must we choose the side that has rainbows in the sky? I’ve learned that you can never trust the side that always looks good. Looks can be deceiving after all.                                                                                  

I always wonder though. Because of that one decision. Did that decision make every decision after that go further down the rabbit hole? If I had gone down the other path, is that a safe path? Maybe when it’s time for another decision. I pick the wrong one. That could lead to a rabbit hole.

I hate when my mind wonders like that. It’s sucks being an analyzer sometimes. I always prepare for the worse. I can never think of the positive. Well, no I’ll take that back. When I hit a crossroad. I think, this is it. I’ve got this. But in the past seven years it seems when I do think that, it all goes downhill. Maybe it’s just my thirties? I never remember being this bad in my twenties. Is this a part of growing up? Will I relax more in my forties?

There are reasons, I know I shouldn’t change my past or future. Maybe it was God, putting me on this path. Maybe if I changed my past and future, I would lose friendships or opportunities. Opportunities that might not have happened if I changed my future. I might not have a huge social circle in my life right now, but would I still have that social circle if I changed my path?

So, unless any of you know how to time travel, I guess I need to look to the future and change the path I’m in. I can’t go in reverse, but I can take the crosswalk and cross the street. Once I cross the street. I’ll just have to keep analyzing, but I can still change my future. It’s never too late. Even when I’m eighty I can……I hope.

Why Can’t I Live in a Jane Austen Novel? 

Is there ever going to be a day where I’ll want to stop living in a fictional world? There are many worlds I would love to live in. Who wouldn’t want to live in Narnia or attend Hogwarts? 

If there is a world I would love to live in, it would be a Jane Austen novel. I would love it if I could find my own Mr. Darcy. Why him? I ask myself that question many times. Why go for the jerk? Well, he was a jerk at the beginning. His pride taking over. But, who doesn’t have pride? Everyone is guilty of it at some point. If it’s not Darcy, it’s Captain Wentworth. Reunited love, another favorite of mine. 

I always love when people remind me that women were not equals or the fact there were germs everywhere. Yes, I do think about that. I would miss my shower, baths, you name it. But, if I was born in that time I’m sure I would be fine. Right? Hopefully. 

I’m sure I’m not alone in this. At least I hope so. But escaping the real world for the fictional world is a great way to escape expectations one faces. Not caring what people might think. I can be who I want to be. Maybe I want to see things through the main character or maybe just be a character on the side lines. 

Now I’m thinking I should escape the real world tonight before the work week. Maybe escape into the world of War and Peace.

One Simple Rule

Shouldn’t there be a rule that couples or even married couples need to follow? Especially, when it has to do with single people? I’m happy for them. Glad they found someone, but to talk about relationships among your single friends? That is a big no-no.

Single people don’t always want to hear about how relationships work. What do they have to bring to the conversation? Sure, they could talk about a past relationship. But, there is a chance the relationship is meant to be forgotten.  A closed chapter. 

Here’s a tip. If you are with a group of people. There will be times, single people are among you. Wait until you are away from them. If you have a single friend trying to change the subject? Change the subject. Don’t make it so your single friend tries to change the subject at least five times. 

Otherwise, something might be thrown at you. Not that I almost did it the other day. But, it was tempting.

Tuesday 11/29/2016

nanowrimo_2016_webbadge_winnerHey everyone! How is everyone today? November is almost over and I completed NaNoWriMo. I’m feeling proud of myself. It was stressful, but a good experience. It was definitely good practice for future deadlines. Now, I just have to figure out how to put editing into that. Shouldn’t be too hard…I hope. I’m one of those who edit as they go along. Maybe I could save editing for one day a week. That way I can focus on writing. Any writers out there have any great tips for that?

I’m looking at going back to my story, maybe in a couple months? I need to focus on the sequel for Forbidden Love first.

Nothing else to talk about. December is a day away. I’ll soon be thirty-seven. Hoping thirty-seven will be my year.

Ooh, I’m going to be working on a Christmas story that I hope to post on Saturdays. The conclusion will be on Christmas Eve.

Did you participate in NaNoWriMo? How did it go? Looking forward to 2017?

Until next time.

x-posted @ YouTube

Facebook Withdrawal..Not Me….Yet

So it’s been a few days and I’m feeling pretty good. Why you ask? Well, there is a couple reasons, but that’s a whole different post. That, of which I dare not post. One thing I am proud of right now, is not going on Facebook for long periods of time. Facebook is a struggle for me. I get suckered in no matter what.

On Monday, I started my less time of Facebook. I thought I would try. I pretty much stop doing  Twitter a lot. Why not Facebook? I still of course go on Twitter here and there, but not enough to where it takes up too much of my time. I decided I would give myself ten minutes of Facebook and that would be all. I did it. No problem. Although I had to go on a few times when Facebook notified me of notifications. So, I decided I would remove Facebook from my phone. That way I have no way of knowing if someone posted or commented.

Yesterday, wasn’t bad. I hardly went on. Maybe went on three times to see if there were notifications, but there wasn’t that many. It took me a few minutes to check and I was off.

Today, same thing. I maybe went on five times already? But, that was because I commented on a post on a Facebook group I manage. I was even able to ignore my timeline. So bonus for me there. I will probably go on again later tonight, but I’ll go on for ten minutes. Fifteen the most, I hope.

If you are ever on Facebook and want to like my page. Same with Twitter. Click the links below. Let’s hope I can do this. Fingers crossed.

Robyn Eleanor’s Facebook Page

Robyn Eleanor’s Twitter Page