One Year Left

keep-calm-i-m-only-39-years-oldWell, this morning I said goodbye to thirty-eight and hello, to thirty-nine. Am, I ready for the last year of my thirties? Yes, and no. The thirties weren’t bad, but not as exciting as my twenties. I am looking forward to my forties in the sense that maybe I’ll be happier in that decade. At least compared to my thirties. I had goals in my thirties that I never accomplished. But, maybe the forties I will?

Again, I’m not saying my thirties were bad. It just wasn’t my favorite decade in my life so far. I think we all go through that. I know some who weren’t a fan of their twenties, but loved their thirties.

I decided for my thirty-nine self, I’m only going to have a few goals. Goals that will get me where I want to be. Where I would like to see my future self. There is one goal, I’m still hoping for. But, at this point in my life. I’ve given up on that.  Am I okay with giving up? Yes, and no. But time will fix that. And if it happens, awesome.

Not doing anything too exciting for my birthday. I took today off from work. I got to sleep in and have a lazy morning. Which, I loved.  I do have my book exchange party with my book club tonight. I look forward to those every year to see what new book I get. We all have different tastes, so it’s always fun to get a book I might not pick up.

After book club, I plan on just getting into my pj’s and my new Star Wars snuggie thanks to the bestie. Hopefully, curl up with the sequel to Hocus Pocus. This book, I’m definitely struggling with. The first half of the book was good. It was the first movie. The second half where the kids are now grown up? Yeah, I’m having trouble with this part.

In sad news as I was writing this. My phone alerted me about Penny Marshal’s death. So sad. I grew up watching her.  She will be missed.

Anime Con Part One

So, this past weekend I got to experience my first Anime Con in Columbus. Not just mine, but it was also my Bestie’s. She was more excited, but that’s because she is the anime fan. Me? I’ve seen a few episodes in the past thanks to her. Why I never continued on with them? Not sure.

We arrived on Friday afternoon. Once we were checked into the hotel, we set off for registration. I have to say looking for the registration room and even where everything was going to be? It made me think of high school.  The freshman who can’t figure out where they are going. We asked for directions but still got confused. The convention center in Columbus was a lot more difficult to get around than Cleveland’s convention center. Maybe, I’m spoiled though. I’ve been to the Cleveland one a few times.

As we were looking for the autograph area. We got suckered in by a guy sitting at a table to do a quiz. Of course, I had to pick Star Wars. No way would I know any anime. We won both a button and a movie poster. The movie poster has landed in the trash can. The button is still sitting on my dresser. I don’t even think the button had anything to do with anime. The poster? One, I never saw the show on Netflix and it wasn’t worth it to save. I might have also not been paying attention when I threw the poster in my bag. Let’s just say it might have gotten ripped or folded.

Bestie got some of her autographs. While she waited in line, I sat down and read my book. It might sound boring to some. But, I was happy. Give me a book and I can be lost for hours.

After the con, we went to a pizza place that was across our hotel. It felt like Chick-Fil-A. If you said, “thank you”. The waitress would say, “my pleasure.” Not a bad thing, but you can only take so much of those. Or, maybe it’s me. But, at the same time. It’s always good to thank them. I guess it’s a no win-win situation. The meal was great. I, of course, didn’t do pizza. But, I’m thinking I should have.  The chicken sub was yummy and spicy. But, with fries? Let’s just say I didn’t starve. I could have taken it back to the hotel for what I didn’t finish. But, greasy food is never great the second time when you microwave it. Unless someone knows a trick?

Once we got back to the hotel. The rest of our night was pajamas and anime. We did a few episodes of Noragami. I watched the first episode without her last week and liked it. But, after a few more episodes. I was hooked. I might have binged watched the first season yesterday.

So this is turning into a long post and this is only for Friday. I’m thinking, I’ll do another post for Saturday. I’ll have more later.

I’m Back……

So, I feel like I haven’t been on the website lately. If I am. It’s quick posts. I hope to change that. I feel like I’ve said that before. But, this is me trying to get out of what I call a life slump. I know what the problem is. I’m working on fixing that. Unfortunately, since it’s the Internet. I can’t say. But, one day I know I will be able to tell you. One day. But, not now. Just know, I’m finding my way back. I have many ideas for future posts. Rather it’s me doing an unboxing of a subscription box or maybe a post about my latest adventure. Keep your eye out for reviews on TV, movies, and books. Maybe even a review or two of products.

I also plan on doing a story on here. If it goes to plan. I’ll do an introduction to it at the end of the week or sometime next week.

I don’t have a set schedule of what days I plan to post. I would love for it to be every day or maybe every other day.  Time will tell.

This week, I hope to post about my Anime Con weekend. A review on Vampire Knights, both seasons one and two. Maybe, a review of the book, To All The Boys, I’ve Loved. Along with the movie version. If not this week, they will go into the next week.

I hope everyone had a good weekend and a good start to the week.

Class of 1998

Hard to believe, but it’s been almost twenty years since I graduated from high school. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was preparing for my last few months of high school. I would get to spend my last few months doing a senior project. Mrs C., my English teacher was my advisor for the project. I worked with a pre-school. Who would have thought? Me working with kids? I definitely was a different person back than. I wondered what changed to where I like four legged children the best for kids.

At the same time as I was preparing for my soon graduation, I thought I couldn’t wait to see friends again. They would meet my husband and children.  I would show them pictures of the children. Mind you, this was before cell phones. So, my idea at the time would be to carry pictures in my wallet. 

Twenty years ago if you asked me if I would go to my reunion. I would comment, “duh..of course.”  If you asked me now? I would bite my lip and ponder. Maybe say, “I don’t know. Maybe?” Where in the past twenty years did I change my mind? I’m betting the last five years.

When it had been time for my ten year. I didn’t even know about it. Nothing as for as I knew had been planned. I found out from former classmates we did have one. I believe it was at a bar. I heard not many people went. I would have loved to see around 800 people in a bar.

Five years later, people tried to get everyone together and do a fifteen year reunion. We went to a local restaurant. Again around 800 in my class. Maybe under 100 showed up? I worked at the time with a former classmate. She didn’t even hear about it. I think word only had gotten around thanks to Facebook. I did enjoy seeing old friends. I reconnected with them. There were a couple there I avoided at the same time. As I talked with my former classmates, I wondered what might be going through their head. Was I married? Any kids? What’s wrong with her? It was bad enough I was nowhere near where I thought I would be. Not even close. If my eighteen year old self saw me. She would have shaken her head.

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Thanks again to Facebook, I added classmates to my Facebook. Five years later, there are some I have unfriended or they had unfriended me. We either lost interest or I realized who they truly were. Which brought up other questions like, why was I even friends with them? If I go to the reunion, will they question why I unfriended them? I do still have friends on Facebook, of course. Those are friends I would want to see at the reunion. Okay, no. There are a couple I haven’t unfriended yet, but I’m getting close to. I’m sure they wouldn’t even notice I unfriended them. For those I want to see again? I don’t need a 20 year reunion. I could just message them to hang out.

I lost touch with a lot of people and feel like the reunion would be awkward. I haven’t even seen anything listed about it. If there is no reunion, I probably would be okay. If the reunion takes place and I miss out on it? Would I regret not going? If I regret, there is always the 30th reunion. Right?

So, do I go? What did you do or plan on doing?

Stress, Stress, Stress

Why does stress keep coming back into my life? Just when I think it’s gone or I even have it under control. It comes right back. I know the reason stress is attacking. Unfortunately, right now I would rather not mention why. I can see it now. In the comments. Why mention it if you don’t want to tell us what it is? I’ve seen that enough on Facebook. People get even mean about it. I understand why some people do it. They just need prayers or maybe they just want to know everything is going to be fine. I respect that. So, I hope you understand why I’m not saying the reason why stress has become a big issue in my life. We’ll just say it’s been something that has been in my life for some time. Unless things change, the stress is not going anywhere. I am working on changes, but it will take awhile. I do have a goal that I would like to see accomplished by the age of forty. I know, I know. That’s not far away. We can talk about the forties another time. Trust me, I could do a whole blog on that. Oooh, a blog post for later this week? Anyways, back to stress.

I do find ways to make the stress go away. But, some days? I get to the point where stress takes over and the rest of my day falls apart. Yesterday, might not have been the best day for me. But really, when are Mondays the best for anyone?  But, I managed to make it somewhat better. I managed to go for a walk. Which helped a lot. Even if it’s walking through the neighborhood. I find it relaxing. Another positive thing about walking is that it’s also good for the body. It’s healthy. So I get two positives out of walking. I’m sure there is more. For now, I’m happy with the two positives.

When I got home from my walk, I saw my dad working on my TV. Most likely talking with someone on the phone. Yea for me, the TV is under a four-year warranty. It should hit three years in December. My dad, the engineer was looking into it for me. At least, he got the TV back on. Unfortunately, there is still a black darkness in the middle. Again, back to stress. Normally if I’m stressed out? Something like a broken TV will stress me even more. I hate when things are broken and I can’t get it fixed. It’s really amazing my blood pressure is never super high. How do I do that? I have no clue. Stress affects my body in other ways.

After my walk and dinner, I pretty much spend the rest of my night watching my watchlist on Youtube. I do love watching those videos. After all, I do subscribe to them for a reason. I just wish I had maybe had gotten some writing in or did some reading. I’m so behind in my reading. It’s crazy. My to-read list is growing while my read pile is not growing.

It’s going to be a slow process to show stress that I’m the boss. But, I’m going to have faith I can do it. The goal I have when I turn forty? Even if I’m not there at 10:20 am on December 18, 2019. If I know I’m getting there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will be a happy camper. I know my life is going in the right direction.

Time Travel. Yes, please? 

If you ever had the chance. Would you turn back time? Would you change something in your life? What about altering the past? Would you be okay with the consequences? Those questions have been invading my mind lately. Once a day or every few days depending on what’s going on. I am always thinking…what if.                         

What if I could go back in time and change something. What do I change? If we had the ability to change our past. Would it change our future or would it somehow not change the future? Yes, I have thought about that. I always feel like I have that kind of luck. No matter what I do, I feel like I would still be walking the path I am now.

When would I go back in time? I can never decide. If it’s something that maybe happened five years ago. I could go back maybe five years and a month. But, there is a chance I might need to go back further. Every turn we make. Every decision we make? That’s a road we walk down. Imagine, as you have to decide what to do. There is a road sign. One leads to an uncertain future. The other? Same thing, an uncertain future. No one knows what tomorrow brings. You might think. I’ll go down this path. I know I’ll be safer going this way. But, maybe you shouldn’t have done that. Maybe, you should have gone down the path with the dark woods. Why, must we choose the side that has rainbows in the sky? I’ve learned that you can never trust the side that always looks good. Looks can be deceiving after all.                                                                                  

I always wonder though. Because of that one decision. Did that decision make every decision after that go further down the rabbit hole? If I had gone down the other path, is that a safe path? Maybe when it’s time for another decision. I pick the wrong one. That could lead to a rabbit hole.

I hate when my mind wonders like that. It’s sucks being an analyzer sometimes. I always prepare for the worse. I can never think of the positive. Well, no I’ll take that back. When I hit a crossroad. I think, this is it. I’ve got this. But in the past seven years it seems when I do think that, it all goes downhill. Maybe it’s just my thirties? I never remember being this bad in my twenties. Is this a part of growing up? Will I relax more in my forties?

There are reasons, I know I shouldn’t change my past or future. Maybe it was God, putting me on this path. Maybe if I changed my past and future, I would lose friendships or opportunities. Opportunities that might not have happened if I changed my future. I might not have a huge social circle in my life right now, but would I still have that social circle if I changed my path?

So, unless any of you know how to time travel, I guess I need to look to the future and change the path I’m in. I can’t go in reverse, but I can take the crosswalk and cross the street. Once I cross the street. I’ll just have to keep analyzing, but I can still change my future. It’s never too late. Even when I’m eighty I can……I hope.